In a move expected to garner broad international praise, Iraq promises to pass legislation banning weapons of mass destruction next week.

"This is an excellent development, and reveals the naivete of the U.S. position," said French Foreign Minister Dominique de Vellepin. "International pressure and increased weapons inspection have brought about the desired end. Now, if Saddam Hussein will not be able to obtain WMD. And if he does, he'll be subject to arrest and prosecution by his own police and courts!" De Vellepin suggested UN sanctions could now be lifted, and that France would soon resume work with Iraq to produce the next generation of Osirak reactors.

German Chancellor Gerhardt Schroeder also praised the move: "Of course, we were always confident that those fermentation vats, superhard alluminum tubes, nerve agent precursors, and other dual-use technologies our companies sold were intended only for civilian use," he said through a translator. "But with this ban, our companies, now freed from the taint of international criticism, can further increase sales, confidently assured no illegal use can occur under Iraqi law."

But in the U.K. Tony Blair expressed ambivalence: "I'm torn," said the Prime Minister, "I know banning dangerous weapons has worked to reduce violence and crime here in the U.K., but its not clear it is the right approach to take in Iraq." He said he would confer with allies first rather than take a "hasty stance" on the matter.

An unnamed Belgian EU official praised the speed with which the new Iraqi legislation would be passed -- from proposal to law in less than a week. "We often have a lot of quarreling here, We're forming a committee to look into streamlining future EU legislation based on the Iraqi model."

Forgive me, Scott Ott.