Do you want to persuade people you are a nut? Does your central thesis lack substantiating evidence? Then follow my quick and simple guide to web design:

1. Use a textured background. Right behind your fonts. The mark of truly fine web literature is to have a really, really busy background.

2. Use large fonts. Using larger letters will tell people that your point, whatever it is, really has weight. If making larger letters isn't convincing enough, alone, then you can also use bold to give your words even more gravitas.

   It's a shame we can't write blinking text any more!

3. Use CAPITAL LETTERS. If large fonts don't appear to "scream" at the user enough, use LOT OF CAPITAL LETTERS! This will SHOW them HOW important RANDOM words you are trying POINT OUT are!

4. Exclaimation points! Throw in LOTS!!!! of exclaimation points!!! Put them on EVERY!!!! sentence!!! It shows you really mean BUSINESS!!!

   This is an extremely convincing technique most major coporations use.

5. Throw in lots of moving graphic images. This will help distract the user and disable their cognitive functions, making them more susceptible to absorbing your point. And the slow load time will also help screen out wimps with modems who can't dedicated enough to wait a mere 3 minutes in order to learn THE TRUTH you are about to reveal.

6. Use dire terms. If you believe in hell, you can announce, often, that people who disagree with you will be going there. This will show your spiritual superiority.

   If not, you can use the F-word, insults, and repeatedly assert that everyone who disagrees with you is a complete idiot. This will demonstrate your intellectual superiority.

   Especially if you're an atheist or skeptic. It's important to show your position is correct. The best way is to repeatedly assert that all those who believe in God are wrong, and idiots.

7. Use circular logic. Assume that the thing you are trying to prove is true, as a way of demonstrating it. It makes the logical steps so much easier.

   If you're a Christian writing to unbelievers, you can say things are true because the bible says so. Don't appeal, like Jesus did, to real-life examples to show something is true. Just cite verses. (Out-of-context citations should be used when the text doesn't actually support your position. Would-be cult leaders, listen up.)

   If you are an atheist, you can build all of your "proofs" on atheistic assumptions. For example, say God doesn't exist because there is no evidence. When evidence of miracles (exceptions to normal physical law) is presented, insist the evidence is wrong because it is improbable. Base your assertion of improbability on a belief God does not exist and an insistence miracles have never occurred.

8. DO NOT do research. This could lead you to believe you stance, whatever it is, is wrong. See "circular reasoning" above, as a way of discrediting evidence not in agreement with your presumption.

   In particular, if you are passing along an interesting and suprising story which seems improbable do not check to see if it is an urban legend. This might waste up to several minutes of your precious time.

   If the story or point proves to be false, you will be robbed of precious material you could have posted!

9. DO NOT cite apparent counter-examples. This can only lead to complications: you might not actually know how to explain this contrary evidence in light of your thesis. Or your explanations might be so bad that your audience will pick up on their weaknesses.

   Besides, you just know you are right, and your audience isn't all that smart anyway, so why bother with troubling evidence or detailed nuances?

10. DO NOT allow posted comments. Someone might say something unflattering to your assertion. Then you might have to answer. That could get sticky.

Alright every one? Go out and get your own geocities pages and START PUBLISHING!

;-)