Oh good heavens...

Witness: Hey, somebody help him! He's drowning!

Five volunteers, in unison: We'll do it!

(Volunteers begin scrambling for a boat, some line, a floatation device...)

Witness: No, no, no! That won't do. Stop that!

Volunteer #1: Huh?

Witness: You can't rescue him! This is all wrong! (He snatches away the line they found to throw to the man.)

Volunteer #2, stopping work: Why not!

Drowning man: Heeelp! Help!!!

Witness, accusatorily: Well, look at the situation here. You're all white people!

Volunteer #4: I have some Native American background.

Volunteer #5: I'm not technically white. I'm actually Hispanic.

Volunteer #4, turning to #5: Really? You're paler than I am.

Volunteer #1, to witness: Well, what of it?

Witness: Well, that's not good enough.

Volunteer #1: Why not?

Drowning man: Heeelp! I have a wife and kids! Somebody, help, pleeease!!!

Witness, gesturing towards the drowning man: Look at him. He's an African-American. You all look white. That won't do. Do you know what that implies about the state of race in America?

Volunteer #1: That we just don't give a damn about color and will help anyone? That we won't even pause to think about skin color while saving lives?

Witness: No, you ninny! It shows you're racists! It gives the impression that black people need help and that only white people can help them.

Volunteer #2: Hey, wasn't that an argument against affirmative action?

Witness, angrily: Shut up about that! (Regains composure.) Look, the point is that if you want to rescue him, you'll need a bit more diversity. You'll need to get some people of color involved in this. You'll need more women. It won't due to have a bunch of white men rescuring a black man. Lucky for you, I'm a trained diversity consultant...

(The witness began to work the crowd, interviewing people in a search for suitable applicants. In the background, the drowning man continues to struggle for his life. Eventually, the drowning man stopped his struggle and disappeared below the surface.)

Witness: Here! This African-American woman will do nicely. Go ahead with the rescue, now it'll be a diverse team. (Gesturing to a journalist nearby.) You, make sure you get her in the photos of the rescue. And mention my name too.

Volunteer #3: Forget it. He's at the bottom now. Probably dead.

Witness: You see? What a racist country. You let yet another African American simply die due to your apathy and inherant racism. You five should all be ashamed of yourselves! Hang your head in shame about the racists you are!

(The witness pulls out a stack of cards and start handing them out...)

Volunteer #1: What are these?

Witness: As I said, I'm a diversity consultant. These are my business cards. You all could obviously use a bit of training to help you get rid of your racism, which let that man drown. Give me a call -- my rates are very reasonable. I also want to know the names of your employers...