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England, 2005: Another 10% More Violent Crime

From London's The Times Online (via):

Muggings and violent attacks on people soared by more than 10 per cent in the third quarter of last year as the police struggled to contain street crime, according to figures published yesterday.

Street robbery is rising at its fastest since Tony Blair demanded action three years ago by the Home Office and police to tackle the issue.

The increase in violent crime came as rising numbers of people expressed concern at the extent of antisocial behaviour, including public drunkenness and drug dealing in their neighbourhoods. Homicides of people under 16 rose by a quarter in the year to the end of September 2005.

Well, this ought to be easy to solve! Since criminals use guns, simply ban guns! Oh wait, that happened right before all this occurred.

Gun crime rose by 1 per cent in the year to the end of September 2005, to more than 11,000 incidents.... Serious injuries from gun crime rose by 18 per cent to 470 in the year to the end of September but the number of deaths from gun incidents fell by more than one third...

Well, ban 'em AGAIN, I say!

And I'm sure they're still using some other kinds of weapons, too. Long or pointed knives, for example. Why don't we ban those, too? I'm sure that will work just as well as the gun ban.

And if not, then I'm sure the answer is just to hire more civil servants. Ones scrupulously trained in diversity and caring.

A separate Home Office publication found that the introduction of police community support officers had had no impact on curbing crime but the 6,300 currently deployed had provided reassurance for the public.

There's just as much crime, but the public is deeply confused about how to fight it, and are thus reassured by metrics which have absolutely no benefit to them. What an excellent situation!

And whatever they're doing to the criminals they've caught seems to be equally effective:

In a separate report published today, it was disclosed that record numbers of prisoners released early are being sent back to jail after returning to a life of crime or breaking the terms of their supervision. The figures, in a report by Anne Owers, the Chief Inspector of Prisons, show a 250 per cent increase in the number of prisoners recalled to jail in the past five years.

Well, if banning guns -- which disarms the populace, making them easier to rob -- and draconian laws against defending yourself aren't causing this crime wave, then what on earth could possibly be behind it?

You'll fall off your chair laughing when you read the explanation:

The Metropolitan Police has said that one of the main factors behind an increase in mugging in London is the rising number of portable hi-tech goods, such as mobile phones and MP3 players.

Hilarious! Crime is being CAUSED by gadgets like MP3 PLAYERS! (Can you imagine the crime rate in Japan if this were true?) And I'm sure in New York, in the 1980, the main cause of muggings was people carrying MONEY on their person. And did you know that being female is the root cause of rape? And being Jewish, I'm sure, is the cause of anti-Semitism.

These people are unbelievable!

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