A little something to honor and celebrate Cuba's Revolution, and its greatest achievements, on the occasion of Fidel Castro stepping down from power...

How wud u liek to spel all yur wurds liek this? Wel, if yu wer wiling to yus Kastro's methud, we in Amerika kud hav 100% literisee just liek Feedel Kastro's Kuba!

The 1961 National Literacy Campaign reportedly reduced the level of illiteracy to 3.9%, but without their simple orthography, it might have had much less success. The straightforward spelling made it possible to use Paulo Freire's conscientisation techniques of teaching reading and writing with high-school students as teachers. However, with English spelling as it is, a similar teaching method could not be used to teach literacy in English-speaking schools....

Lessons began with thirty key politicising words containing all letters and speech sounds, broken down into syllables from which new words and sentences can be created. To introduce the vowels and consonants, the fifteen Hispanic phrases first taught were Organisation of American States (from which Cuba had just been expelled) National institute of agrarian reform, the co-operative farm...

By analagee, in Amerika, we kud hav all the childrun lern to spel "Demokratic Party", "Barak Obama", "Nom Chomskee", "yunaversal helthkar", "yunited nashuns", "ACLU", "Republikans are eevil", and "deth to all rite wingers". That wud raze ther politikul konshusness as wel as ther intelekshual abilitees.

The final test for students was at second grade level, since from then on, because of the nature of Hispanic orthography, learners could study independently, although fourth grade was considered functional literacy. There was a national celebration of the first area completely literate, and a museum commemorates the whole campaign.

See? All yu hav to do is fors everywun to chang the way wurds r speld, fors everwun to go to klas (at gunpoint if necesary), and then yus a sekund grad level of reeding as tha test fer literisee. Then yu can deklare yu have acheevd the amasing feet of "compleet literisee in the hole populashun!" The Nu York Times and Nu York and Halywud eleets wil then sing yur prases for yeers to come!

Yu just kant mind that peepul kan onlee can spel ther wurds liek my riting heer!

(And nevar mind all the ded bodees.)

Uf korse, we hav no idea if Kuba stil has 100% literisee, sins ther is no way to chek the goverment statistiks. Its not liek Kastro ever alowed an independent grup of peepul in to verify the aleged sukseses of the Revolushun. But hey, compleet loss of freedum is such a smal pris to pay for compleet literisee!

And seriously, please read this.